They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
false alarm. still invincible.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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