Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
