She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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