: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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