i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
