Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
