my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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