I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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