She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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