so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
