there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
