eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
