trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
