Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
