my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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