So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
