She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ok first of all what the fuck
tell me about the eggs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
