He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
A bitchslap is in order.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
