break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
