i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
