Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
