he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
