well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
