I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
