All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
