I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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