Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize