I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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