Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
