We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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