Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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