sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
