I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
