Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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