The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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