1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
