This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
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No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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