Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
