the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
