You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
