the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
