Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
