I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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