I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
