if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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