ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
