ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
