I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just found puke in my bra..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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