If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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