Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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