He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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