I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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