Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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