it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
