The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
