My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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