My cat gives me a boner
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
