I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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