Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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