i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize