You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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